Archive for the ‘hip’ Category

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Barista or Tweaker?

February 6, 2016

There is a barista competition in Kansas City this week. Lots of shaky, jittery people in town right now.

At first, I thought they were just the regular downtown tweakers and bath salt smokers. However, I then realized most were wearing flannel. “Nice ironic beard, Shaky McShakerson.”

I had also forgotten that the folk conference isn’t until the end of the month. The main difference between the barista convention and the folk conference is that the folky folks are carrying a banjo. #whitepeopleproblems #firstworldproblems

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A1 and Rumple Minze: The New, Hip Cocktail of Choice?

January 26, 2016

 

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Is this the new cocktail of choice?

You know I’m all about sharing the latest hip trends. This bottle of A1 steak sauce and Rumple Minze were purchased together at 9:30 am on a Monday. Is this the new hip cocktail of choice? “The smoky nodes of the A1 really compliment the minty mouthwash burn of the Rumple Minze.” I’m sure this tastes like Santa Claus got drunk at Outback Steakhouse. Mock it now, but this will probably be the big thing in five years. Don’t forget to say you heard it here first!

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Mock Turtleneck: The Challenges of Naming an Indie Rock Band.

January 25, 2016

There are so many bands out there today, I think people are running out of band names. I keep an ever growing list of potential indie rock band names on me at all times. If I ever start a bedroom indie pop project, I will likely name it Mock Turtleneck.

What rules do I follow for this list? Two word band names seem to sound good. The band name also must work in the following sentence, “I saw Mock Turtleneck open for Youth Lagoon. They were good, but he meowed into the mic too much.”

Mock Turtleneck
Galapagos Apocalypse
Shamu and the Peter Pans
Bunny Regret
Wet Kiwi
Crying Duck
Nervous Pervert
Strawberry Mountain
Minimalist Parent
Shaved Driver
Wolf/Woof
Dingo Butter
Evil Lawn
Heat Stroke
Bus Shoes
Gravity Waves
Hobo Rebuff
Flowers for Bees
Cape Disappointment
Electric Pen
Cubicle Days
Night Barge
Blood Moon
Earth’s Shadow
Dwarf Planet

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Overheard at YJ’s.

January 24, 2016
Yjs

YJ’s

YJ’s Snack Bar is a legendary coffee shop and snack bar in the Crossroads section of Kansas City, Missouri. The crowd that frequents YJ’s is tapped in and funky. Every time I hit YJ’s, I feel like I meet someone hip or hear something that blows my mind. Here is a collection of quotes I’ve overheard at YJ’s.

“If you hate the music you make, more people are bound to like it. That’s the way it works, right?”

“I thought this was a Steve Reich remix. It just had that certain use of minimalism.”

“I’m just looking for bands made by high school kids that hate their parents.”

“I plan on the show being kid friendly until 9.”
“Nothing is kid friendly.”

“A divorced couple is fighting over frozen embryos. That is messed up. It’s like paying child support for frozen embryos.”

“I know you had your first client in the dark room yesterday.”
“How do you know that?”
“I have my ear to the streets.”

“I have no idea what the concept is for this album. It’s called Xerox Vol. 3, so I would guess it is the sound of destructive copying.”

“He’s mostly into electronic music. Last week, he said he was into Vapor wave. I think he is just making up genres of music.”

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YJ’s

 

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Raging with the Green Fairy.

January 17, 2016
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Absinthe (image via liquor.com)

“Absinthe is a liquor that they outlawed because it’s supposed to make you trip hallucinogenically. So, I got excited because I like to hallucinate. So, I started drinking lots of shots of it. But, really, it’s just a liquor. So, I was just getting fucked up… I wasn’t even remotely tripping. But, after 10 shots, I fell to the ground and tried to force the trip. “WHY IS THE FLOOR AS LOW AS I CAN GO!?”. But, I was just faking it, ya know? It wasn’t a from the heart trip.” -Mitch Hedberg.

I recently read about an absinthe-related store opening up in Kansas City. It got me thinking about my past experiences with absinthe.

Actual absinthe was outlawed in the US until 2007. However, absinthe has been popular in New Orleans for years. Both the versions you can find in the United States and the harder-hitting varieties from overseas seem to do well in NOLA.

My first time drinking absinthe was at the now closed, kitschy, Russian-themed bar Pravda. Surrounded by the faux Soviet Era relics adorning the red walls, I bought some absinthe for $15 a glass. The melting of the sugar cube through the slotted spoon looked like some weird drug making workshop. It has a strong anise tone and packs quite a punch.

The touristy Pirate’s Alley Cafe, tucked in the French Quarter’s Pirate’s Alley, also features a few quality absinthe varieties. One night, the bar was packed to the maximum. Unbeknownst to me, there was a pirate convention in town. The tiny bar was overflowing with pirates hunting for booty. They were a surly bunch for sure.

The Rieger Hotel Grill & Exchange, in Kansas City, serves absinthe. It seemed like the real deal. I ended up missing my bus because I fell through the worm hole.

It’s important to remember that absinthe has pros and cons. Your paintings will look better and really pop. However, you could lob your ear off. If you see Tahitian colors on the back of your eyelids, you might drink too much absinthe. It’s interesting to see absinthe get big again in trendy circles. Whether it is hip or not, absinthe is guaranteed to leave a strong impression on you.

 

 

 

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Being So Hip You’re Ahead of Yourself.

January 16, 2016

I had a friend of mine in college that was playing a mix CD he had made of new music. I asked him about what some of tunes were. “I don’t know yet. I’ll find out what I’m listening to tomorrow.” The tunes were so new, the guy that made the CD didn’t even know them yet. He is so hip, he is ahead of himself.

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Neck Splinters and Woodpecker Attacks: The Wooden Tie Life.

January 14, 2016
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Rocking the wooden tie with Larry the Cable Guy. #whitepeople #gitrdone

I am not a fashion guy at all, but I am a big supporter of wooden ties. In life, one should try and be funky in as many ways as possible. As you plow through a bland day, it can be fun to amp things up any way you can.

However, attempting to be fashion forward can have issues. The other day, I was walking down the street and got maliciously attacked by a woodpecker. Ugh, white people problems. Anytime it gets cloudy, I start getting paranoid about my tie warping.  I have to get up ever day at 5 am to coat my tie with Thompson’s deck sealer. I feel like a hungover Bob Vila. Awhile back, a colony of termites tried to burrow into my tie. I have the Orkin man on speed dial now.

Wooden ties seem to be gaining in popularity now. I rep a wooden tie for Wooden Tie Wednesday every week now. I’d like to think I was one of the first people to wear one. So many folks are biting my style! They are barking up the wrong tree.

However, it’s not all wooden tie problems all the time. It is nice having random people come up to me on the street and say, “Oh my god, it’s the wooden tie guy!” I’ve been called a lot worse downtown, it’s a nice change of pace.

Bradley Walsh is my wooden tie maker of choice. He sells his pieces at Eclectics. He’s out there, whittling away the hours to bring the wood to the people.

Through all the neck splinters and woodpecker smackdowns, life’s rough and smooth patches, it’s all about bringing the funk.

 

 

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My First Exposure to the Weird, Wonderful Art of Finland.

January 9, 2016
Canary

Vessa-Pekka Rannikko “Canary” (2013)

The pieces featured in Dark Days, Bright Nights: Contemporary Paintings from Finland, the recent exhibition about Finnish art at the Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art really struck a chord with me. I am no art critic and the exhibition served as my first exposure to the art of Finland. The works are visually stunning, trippy and fresh. I love the use of tone and texture. I wanted to share the weird beauty of these works with you.

Yayoi

Mari Rantanen “Yayoi (Yayoi)” 2014

Framed

Reima Nevalainen “Framed” (2014)

BetweentheLines

Reima Nevalainen “Between the Lines II” (2011)

Sunna

Left to right: Mari Sunna “Close” (2013, “Gladiator” (2013), “Cage” (2011)

Marika

Marika Makela “Idan kukkia (Eastern Flowers)” (2013)

Jarmo

Front, left, right: Jarmo Makela “Karpasten herra (Lord of the Flies)” (2013), “Kuninkaiden kumarrus (The Bow of the Kings) (2014), “Europa, Europa” (2014)

LordoftheFlies

Jarmo Makela “Karpasten herra (Lord of the Flies)” (2013)

BurningBush

Left to right: Heikki Marila “Perkele (The Devil)” (2014), “Palava pensas (Burning Bush) (2014)

Nio

Left to right: Leena Nio “Silmapako I (Ladder I)” (2014), “Ansa II (Trap II)” (2014), “Spook” (2014)

Doora

Rauha Makila “Gerli” (2013), “Mura” (2013), “Doora” (2013), “Petite” (2012), “Alek” (2013)

Petite

Rauha Makila “Petite” (2012)

Susi

Left to right: Nanna Susi “Menen tulen varas (Coming-Going-Thief)” (2014), “Valkoinen pilvi (White Cloud” (2014)

E1

Heikki Marila “Excelsior 1” (2013)

M

Heikki Marila “Excelsior 6” (2013)

Jani

Left to right: Jani Hanninen “Twin Peaks” (2014), “A 13” (2014)

MR

Mari Rantanen “Anna (Ana)” (2014)

MR2

Mari Rantanen “Sonja (Sonia)” (2014)

SS

Left to right: Sirpa Sarkijarvi “Lapiomies (Shovelman)” (2011), “Son” (2011)

SS2

Sirpa Sarkijarvi “Vides sukupolvi (Fifth Generation)” (2011)

Tuori

Left to right: Anna Tuori “It Is All Now You See” (2013), “Splendour in the Grass” (2013), “Things I’ve Seen I Can See No More” (2013)

 

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Banksy in NOLA.

January 8, 2016
Banksy1

Soldiers Looting, September 2008

In 2008, around the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, the enigmatic street artist Banksy hit New Orleans under the cover of night to do some art. It was one of the few that times I’ve seen any Banksy work in-person.

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Tracking the pieces down was an epic trek. Banksy often does his work in hard-to-find places. He had pieces on St. Claude and on shuttered housing projects. You try to see the pieces before they get ruined or painted over.

While I was shooting a photo of the NOLA Rain Girl, a car drove by. “Banksy sucks!” they screamed out the window. Everybody is an art critic these days. The public reaction to his work around NOLA was mixed. Some people view his work as art and other people see it as graffiti that should be destroyed. It’s all about personal perspective.

Banksy3

NOLA Rain Girl, September 2008.

This was the time before they started selling Banksy throw pillows or before I met people with Banksy tattoos.

RainGirl

Met a girl with a NOLA Rain Girl tattoo, August 2012. She wasn’t from NOLA, just liked the look of the piece.

The few pieces I caught that were very NOLA specific. The works were a product of a certain time. His work is political, hard hitting and carries his distinct style. It was fascinating to see Banksy tackle issues in his own weird way.

Banksy4

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Finding the Hipness Within.

January 5, 2016

A friend of mine told me a cautionary tale the other day. “My roommate named her cat David Bowie Waffles. She was trying way too hard,” she said. Just because you can do something, it doesn’t mean you should. You don’t have to try that hard. “At first, I thought it was Tom Hanks Pancakes. I remembered that the cat’s name is David Bowie Waffles,” she clarified.

The people I know that are actually hip often just let it flow effortlessly from themselves. They aren’t out there trying to impress, they just do what they do. You shouldn’t have to force the hipness. It sounds cliche, but being true to who you are is the hippest way you can be. Realness over everything. Being real never goes out of style.

YJsPhoto2

YJs Snackbar

David Ford is one of the hippest people I know in KC. An artist, Ford is also the owner of the legendary YJs Snack Bar. YJs is a laid back, funky spot in the Crossroads. David recently gave me a rundown about a trip to Ethiopia, “The cities featured a lot of cosmopolitan  jazz and the countryside was very rural. It was a lot of goat slaughter, 2,000 ritual goat slaughter.” It was a strange description, but had me intrigued.

YJsPhoto

YJs

The next night, I was watching Anthony Bourdain on CNN. He was in Ethiopia, of course. He described the cosmopolitan, jazzy vibes of the cities and the ritual goat slaughter of the countryside. David Ford is a man that is ahead of the curve, constantly pushing forward. David Ford is hip because he is true to himself.

Personal hipness comes from deep within yourself. Being open to the wonder of the world around you can help make you hipper. Being present in the moment can help you tap back into the realness of yourself. No need to try too hard, just be real.

 

 

 

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